Oh my god, I am sick and tired of having so many damn ideas in my head to write about that I can't focus on a single one! Even after eliminating one idea and telling myself that I'd focus just on my Pridea excerpt/rewrite, my mind is still wandering and it refused to focus on it during this whole weekend. So I didn't really get anything done this weekend except watch STAR DRIVER and Revolutionary Girl Utena - I'll definitely have to make a post about Utena later, since I already fangirled enough about STAR DRIVER this week, haha.

( In which Kiri ponders why she's so indecisive when it comes to writing... )

I had revelation today, while eating dinner with my family. We were eating curried chicken and rice and potatoes, and it just occurred to me that this isn't really a normal meal for most households. To be honest, I don't really think about my culture very much. It's not a huge part of who I am, but, like most people born in America, it just adds a certain spice to the individual, I guess.

Curry's something my mom and dad make, since their mom and dad made it for them back in the islands (Jamaica and Trinidad respectively). I can't cook for shit, so when they pass on... Who will continue to make curry? I won't be able to do it. I'll be eating frozen foods for dinner probably every day, and while that doesn't bother me... Their curry recipe not being passed on does. it's not like I'm going to have children to pass it down to or anything. I'd just like to be able to make it for myself when I get older and move out of the house, you know?

There's a lot of Trinidadian foods that I really love, but rarely get to taste, because not even my mom / dad know how to cook everything.

See, usually, the tradition is that you're supposed to eat curry with roti, which is ... well, you could compare it to a tortilla, except roti is very, very thin and flaky, and is made especially for sopping up the curry from your plate. Mom and dad don't know how to make it, so we usually drive up to Boston and get a roti dinner with chick peas and chicken, shrimp, beef or goat and savor it, 'cause hell if we know how to make it. One of my aunts knows, but she's too stingy to share the secret. Either that or mom never asked and just gave me any ol' answer...

There's a lot of other Trini dishes I love to eat but never get to as well, but one of the best I've ever had is shark and bake. I had it when we actually went to Trinidad for my grandma's funeral, and it was perhaps the sole highlight of the trip. It's basically shark, yes, shark, that's lightly fried (or deep fried, depending on where you go) and eaten with potatoes and bake. 'Bake,' is lightly fried dough, I guess Americans could compare it to doughboys. It's totally different though - it's flaky and yet full of substance and has a very sweet taste to it.

If you ever plan on going down to Trinidad to eat this stuff, remember that  it's always called shark and bake. Never bake and shark or "fried fish and bake" or any other variant. Anyone calling it anything else isn't a real Trini and is probably some tourist who thinks they can make a profit on other tourists trying to get a real Trinidadian food experience.

Okay. I totally thrashed the piece I was working on for Always Motivated. I can't - I just physically cannot write a finished piece that I like enough to upload to devART every week, I just can't do it! I'm thinking about leaving the group, but I'll feel really bad about it... but it has do be done. Now that I think about it, the only reason I was really excited about the comm was the promise of points... But you know, what, whatever! This is the first time in a while that I've ever had to totally scrap some of my work, and I feel kind of pissed about it.

The problem is, my original story line for the piece was novel, in my opinion, but then I had to work the prompt into it (which was 'cookie,' may I remind you... cookie!) and it just turned out... blah. I thought I could pull it off but I wasn't cool enough. Plus, in my opinion, the word 'cookie' is not really a motivational prompt. No, no it is not! I mean... really? Cookie? If you're going to make a group that prides itself on being motivational, the least you could do is put a little 'umph' into your prompts! I want to leave the group, I really do, but I've never left a group after joining it and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings... But blah, I'll just go ahead and do it anyway after I'm done with this post.

Short entry today, but I really should be heading off to bed. Tomorrow I really have to get writing. I've run into a snag, so I figure I should do my piece how I originally wanted to, and then continue working on my Pridea excerpt. I also really want to get working on Origfic Bingo too! Argh, maybe I should put my piece aside and just work on Bingo? I like that idea! Especially since I have five really great plots I want to work on in five seperate pieces! I know I said I'd scrap them, but I worked hard to generate those ideas! ... Yosh, starting tomorrow, I'll hit the ground running and write, write, write! (Seriously, this time!)