We had a crazy power outage yesterday, it shut off all the power in our house around 8:00 PM, and we didn't have it again until... Well, I don't know when it came back on, 'cause I decided to just go to bed when the power shut off. It was crazy ridiculous man, but to be honest, it's not like I had anything important to do. I probably would've just goofed off on the Internet like I always do, doing absolutely nothing. It's not like I don't have anything better to do, really! I need to get working on my research paper, which I'll do this weekend, I guess... I need to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my backboard, but I'll do that the weekend after this one, I guess... I can't work on my backboard without knowing what the hell's gonna be in my research paper, I swear I'm not just stalling! (Okay, it's a little bit of me just stalling, but I really think if I wait 'til the weekend, it'll turn out much better, honest!)

Today, my guidance counselor called me in the office to talk about my plans for college and all that. Honestly, this is the one thing I don't want to talk about - and don't you have better things to do with your time than grill me about college applications? I told her that I don't know what I'm doing - that either I'll apply to CCRI for two years and then transfer to URI for the last two years of my journalism major, or just go to URI all the way. In all honesty, that's a lie, I really don't know if I want to do journalism or not. A part of me thinks that its okay to just wait a year, sort out your life, and then apply if you know that's what's really right for me, but the pressure is on from all sides of the fire. Mom, Dad, my intern teach, my guidance counselors, they all expect sort epic shit to come from me and I really don't know what to make of it. Oh, and they said that I have grades that say I should be in National Honor Society... but to be honesty, National Honor Society isn't all that important to me. Why couldn't they have told me this in junior year? I mean, I've only got my first quarter grades out now - why did they wait so late?

(It's because you're from Tolman, the drop out factory, they assumed you were stupid.)

Yeah, but my junior year grades definitely proved that I wasn't. It's just annoying because they told me this now when senior project deadlines are coming at me from all directions and everyone's putting fire under my ass for me to get everything turned in by the deadly and almighty DECEMBER 15th. Everybody, FEAR THE ALMIGHTY DECEMBER 15th! Okay, but seriously - to get in, you need 15 hours of community service (check), you need to write a general essay about your personality (would that really be so hard), and get a teacher to write a letter of recommendation for you to get in, but I can't use my intern teach 'cause he's on the NHS board.

Okay, that's a little hard. I would ask my current English teacher, but I don't like him 'cause he's this airhead who doesn't teach and just talks about ghost stories all day and when it comes time to write, I dunno, RESEARCH PAPERS, he kind of just leaves us to our own devices. It's been two years since I've written a research paper and it'd be nice if I could get some instruction on how he wants this piece of shit set up, but no. Hey, I like ghost stories dude. I love creepypasta and I love getting a good scare everyone once and a while, sure, and paranormal stories are bamf, but this is English class, dude! And we need to have an essay in by the 15th, an essay you haven't told us how you want it to be started, how to structure it, where you want the thesis statement (some teachers like it at the beginning - like my Freshie English teach - while others want it on the end - like my Soph English teach). Some clarification would be nice!

Somehow, I will get all this shit done, and I will definitely get it done before Christmas break and have a very merry Christmas indeed! I haven't been able to get in the holiday spirit because of this shit. I wanted to make a homemade advent calendar this year, haha, but fuck that. Next year I'll probably have a job and I'll be able to buy materials to actually make a decent lookin' one instead, though.

When I sat down to blog today, I had no idea what I was going to write, I didn't even feel like writing in the first place, but then I came across this quote on a blog about blogging and felt inspired a little:

"As a writer, I love sitting down to blog. When I start a post I have no idea where I'm headed. I love that freedom. I do write otherwise. With outlines and plans. Strategies. But blog writing is like going off for a walk with no predetermined finish time or route, sometimes the walk is through the fields, sometimes along the streets. The typing: different from what I might write with a pen, the pen being much closer to the heart. The typing taps into some place in my brain. I think my best writing comes when I am not thinking. I'm just writing. Or at least that's the way I can look at it when a post is linked to. Which is ultimately the best part about blog writing. Getting a reaction.

I rarely reread my posts. Hence the tremendous number of typos and grammatical errors. But for me, that's okay. I'm not the most anal person in the world. But it's very much what I look for elsewhere. The flaw. The scar. The fingerprint. The idiosyncratic. The weirded-out turn of phrase. Something close to the hearth where the meat burns in an instant and leaves your face all warm for a bit. I love reading something I've written and thinking 'geez who wrote that?'" - Brian Moffat, blogger