05 February 2011 @ 01:17 am
kiri's epic plan to success and having a youthful vibrant life  

First of all... STOP ROLEPLAYING GODDAMNIT. Don't give me that shit about how it builds characters - IT WASTES FRICKIN TME. Plus, the only thing you like doing in roleplays is making the goddamn characters. Once it comes time to post, if you actually have to take longer than twenty minutes to write something, you'll claim that it's useless and ignore it. SOON, PEOPLE WILL GET MAD AT YOU. It's because the site doesn't take yourself seriously - soon you won't take yourself seriously! You are who your friends are and all that jazz...

ALSO, devART is for looking at art. For looking at prompts. NOT FOR POSTING UP WRITING. Seriously, all the writers there are lame as all hell. DO NOT POST PRIDEA PIECES ON DEVART ESPECIALLY. It'd be nice if you could just close your damn account there, but you need it to be subscribed to frickin' writing groups, so just lurk. DON'T EVEN POST JOURNAL ENTRIES. Who gives a fuck if people miss you, they don't do anything except post on your journal entries with cutesy little hug emoticons. Seriously, just lurk there. Don't bother posting anything up. After all, you want comments/feedback on your work, right? You ain't gonna get it from devART.

OKAY, HERE'S THE PLAN. YOU NEED TO FINISH PRIDEA BEFORE NOVEMBER (so you can participate in NaNoWriMo for once in your goddamn life) and YOU NEED TO WRITE MORE. You also need to START YOUR BLOGGER BLOG, but not before you WRITE MORE and JOIN the Absolute Write forum and POST said writings (that are not Pridea writing!) for comments/feedback on SCRIBOPHILE.

Did you get all that? Do you need me to spell it out for you? Okay, fine, here goes.

1. WRITE MORE STUFF. Why not finish that goddamn Bingo card you lazy sack of shit.

2. POST STUFF ON SCRIBOPHILE. You'll get comments for sure! And Scribo is full of actual writers, you'll learn a lot there. (DO NOT POST YOUR SHIT ON FIGMENT, That place is like the plague. Do not go there by any means!) With Scribo, you can choose to make your work private to users who aren't logged in, so it's not a public acrhive like devART is, which makes me feel a little more comfortable about posting my writing up.

3. START WRITING BLOG. On Blogger. Don't worry about connecting with people just yet, that'll come. Just blog about the actual writing process, any problems you have about Pridea, etc. DO NOT POST EXCERPTS. DO NOT TALK TOO MUCH (IF AT ALL) ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. Fuck, that's what this blog is for. You can, however, talk about any and all things fantasy - 'cause it'll be a fantasy writing blog. See what I did there? Fantasy video games, fantasy anime...

4. JOIN ABSOLUTE WRITE. The ultimate writing forum. Ask for crit on some of your non-essential works that you already got crit on from Scribo - it's fine, you're just doing it to get to know them. Talk to writers. Don't try too hard to give a shit about them if some of them are boring as fuck. There are interesting writers out there... you just have to look. Get to know people - give criticism when you can. Remember - you're not a pro, some of these people, however, have been giving good crits for years. Keep a look out for anyone who is trustworthy enough to be your future beta-reader. That's the whole

ALRIGHT. If you follow those easy steps, you'll start getting more serious about writing and moving away from this kiddy atmosphere. You're movin' on up, kid! Soon, you'll be around other writers, if all goes according to plan. And lets hope it goes according to plan... Remember, you can't join Scribo until you're eighteen, so just start WRITING SOME SHIT so you can get back in the groove, okay? Okay. ... But wait, you thought I was done? Hell no! You've been a lazy sack of shit all of 2010, you think I'm gonna let you sit on your ass for another year? HELL NO.

You've had ample time. Now I'm giving you until October 31, 2011 at 11:49 PM to finish the goddamn thing.

FEB - MARCH/APRIL: THE PLANNING STAGES. GET ALL THE DAMN DETAILS DOWN. YEAH, ALL OF EM. YOU HEARD ME! I don't want any inconsistencies. I want every single character, every single tech gadget, every single detail about their food analyzed so nothing contradicts the other. Use the old Pridea Encyclopedia you made and then add on to it. Get the plot down. Get the ending down. Evaluate whether bringing in Kaiden Kairo at all is a good idea or not.

APRIL - OCT: FINISH THE DAMN BOOK. Should be pretty easy once you get everything down. That's ample time. Hell, you can write 150K in a month, so why the hell do you need all this time, anyway? The book definitely should not be longer than 200K, I mean, 150K is pushing it, isn't it? The first time you started, Part I took 150K, but that's because you didn't really know what you were doing. Get all the details down, but leave a little wiggle room, and you should be fine.

Okay, the plan's pretty flexible. Admittedly, it'll probably take me longer to get the Encyclopedia ready than it would to actually write the book (in theory, anyway... that's not scheduling in writer's blocks and me just not giving a damn about anything....) but as long as I get it done before Oct, I'll be fine. I mainly want to participate in NaNoWriMo not so much for the actual challenge, but for the networking that comes with that month. It's a time when writers band together like they never will again in any time of the month, so it's really important that I join, especially since this year will be my first 'debuting' on the writing scene. You know, the actual writing scene, not fucken devART or amateur  LJ/DW writing communities. The more connections I amass that can help me through this, the better.

If for some reason I don't finish Pridea before November (which I really hope doesn't happen - I'll work my hardest to make sure it doesn't) then... I'm not sure what I'll do. I won't be able to get a sketch out for another novel (will I?) so I'd probably have to skip it, unless, somehow, I can find the time to sketch out a mini-ish novel just for kicks (probably starring one of the many characters I have locked away the corners of my mind) just so I can have fun with the whole thing. It really can be super fun, and I really want to join it again.

Okay, good work, you've actually got a plan laid out! But can you follow it? Work hard!
Current Mood: amused
03 February 2011 @ 12:22 pm
i fight battles i can never finish  
Remember that huge multi-genre site I joined a couple weeks ago? It was never supposed to be anything serious. It was just supposed to be this place that I'd join to get in a few roleplays and have somewhere to check back to - a home that was touch-and-go, you know? My relationship with the site has turned way more serious than that. I'm in a ton of epic roleplays, I post more than eight to ten times a day there, and when I'm not posting, I'm mindlessly refreshing the online user list, to see when other people are gonna post. Again, my posts aren't really that long there, so they're just quick things I bang out really easily, but still! It's taken over my mind, man. This was supposed to help my writing - to stimulate character creation, to make me feel like I belong somewhere. And I do belong! But I belong too much!

I have a lot of - well, I wouldn't say friends just yet, but acquaintances that come up with hilarious/epic plots, there's always someone to toss around plot ideas... I can't get out of it. And there's no way I want to leave. I haven't felt this accepted without being the admin of a forum since .... well, never. I've never felt accepted in any forum that I wasn't running before. And now here I am. I'm wondering if something will happen, like it always does, to make me leave, but I can't picture that happening. Everyone is so laid back - and yeah, there are a lot of noobs, but they're easy to dodge, really.

I don't know how to moderate myself. I don't even know what the hell to call myself anymore. At the start of the year, I was planning to write something every day, but then the sickness hit, so my plans were ruined. A month's already gone, there are only eleven months left to actually do something with 2011 - I feel like time's just slipping away.

And Senior Project's over, but so what - that doesn't mean that teachers aren't gonna put the pressure on me even more. Hell, I didn't go to school today, because there was a one hour delay, and that would mean Mom would have to take us. She's incredibly sick, so I told her to lay back down, don't worry about it, I'd stay home and take care of her today. Probably not the smartest move in retrospect, but I didn't give enough of a shit to go. It's hard for me to give a shit about anything except roleplaying on that frickin' addicting site. Is it okay, to be addicted to a site? I'm not sure if it is. I didn't mean to be addicted - it was supposed to help my writing, not hurt it.

I haven't wrote anything since the start of January, and I don't even know how to finish it. I don't know how to finish anything anymore.

There's also that thing with the writing blog I want to start after my birthday. Dude, why are so many "serious" writers:

A. old as the fuckin' hills,
B. stay-at-home moms who talk about their kids if they're not talking about their writing, if ever
C. old crotchety dudes
D. colour-blind and have no taste in blog skins

It's not me being ageist. I wouldn't care if they were old as the fuckin' hills if they didn't plaster pictures of themselves all over their blogs. Why do people gotta do that? This is the Internet, I don't want to know what you look like unless I've know you for years! I kind of just make up my own image of you as you go. Keep yourself off the Internet, god, all those pictures are just fodder for 4chan to scoop up and make macros of anyone - why do people post pictures of themselves online, I don't understand it! God. That's the beauty of the Internet, isn't it? You're an anonymous figure - hell, I'm anonymous right now since I haven't told you my full name. Despite the fact that my name (kiri catastrophe) is pretty much a Google search term now, I'm anonymous - because who have no idea who I am (unless you're [personal profile] razzberree ) and have no idea what I look like. Once you post that picture up online, all of that goes away. Why would you want it to go away? Unless you keep it separate from your online persona, sure, but... Gah, it just pisses me off, okay?!

That's my rant. I gotta find a way to start writing again, or else I'm fucken screwed, bro.
Current Mood: aggravated
30 January 2011 @ 09:12 pm
i'm not sick but i'm sure as hell not well  
I have accepted the fact that I need to roleplay in order to stimulate my character-creation process, and to help me think of different stories to write. Even though I have Pridea, my biggest fear is one day being unable to create an interesting character or storyline, so roleplaying helps me keep that fresh. However, I have also accepted the fact that most people who forum roleplay on zetaboards and invisionfree and proboards are going to have their sites shut down eventually. I've learned that I can't join big-time roleplays where you need to fill out huge character profiles, because that just kills my writing groove.

So I've joined this fairly large multi-genre forum that's been around for who the hell knows how long, under a totally different alias - one I've never taken before. I'm not there to do serious, big-time RPs, I'm there to just kind of have fun, make cool characters I can use for myself later on, get inspired from other people's thoughts, and do quick posts that are fun, but full of quality. I'm doing some "guilty pleasure" roleplays right now - one big one I'm in is just some girls and bishies running a cafe, filled with faux romance (I say faux because we're paired up) and hilarious drama - which is only made hilarious because my character is the most badass hilarious guy ever, but I digress.

To be honest, I'm still very confused about where I want to go with my writing and I want to do to connect with other writers, but getting a blog on Blogspot is still my best bet. I still have to write, but for some reason, I haven't been in the mood. It's not a writer's block - it's just me not wanting to do it. My sickness in the beginning of the year threw off most of my enthusiasm to write, so I've been left in this limbo state. Ever since I finished Senior Project, I haven't been sure of what to do, or how to do it... Like I'm just this person, sitting, waiting to start college so I can get on with being independent already.

Had a dream last night, where I was a student in some magical school (not Hogwarts) and I had this teacher, right, that I really adored. Then, somehow, I had the power to read minds, and when I read his mind, he was thinking, "That student is filthy magic mixer" or something. "Magic mixer" or magic weaver, is someone who mixes two elements of magic and uses them to attack. I was probably thinking something along the lines of Fable III... Anyway, apparently people who do that are considered heathens, and I had been doing it, but in secret. The next time I saw my teacher, I looked at him, and he gave me this all-knowing look, like he knew that I had read his mind and knew what he really thought of me, so he didn't have to pretend anymore. The look he gave me was so overwhelming that I ran away crying.

I made my way to the basement, where a tall man dress in an ornate black robe greeted me. I said to him, "Please don't kill me" and he asked, "Why would I do that?" What was funny was, in the back of my mind, I thought, "What, no cutscene? He's not going to persuade me to join his side?" The dream kind of glitched out and died from there. I just find it kind of funny how it ended, really...
Current Mood: blah
02 January 2011 @ 10:17 pm
returning from neverland, or something  
I've been feeling so tired lately, but I'm not sure why. It's draining, really - but that's probably the fault of Christmas break. If you laze around for too much, it really takes the drive out of you to do anything that requires you to actually think... I think.That's one reason why I haven't been posting, but another is because, well, like usual, I'm lost. Again.

For a while, I was doubting the point of me blogging constantly here... What's the point, you know? Like I said in my last post, when I turn eighteen, or when the school year ends, or when I start writing more frequently, I plan to start a writing blog  about my writing and the process I'm going through with writing... So I can connect to other writers, because really, I need that connection. I've been without it for so long, I've no idea how I've been functioning without it! But you know, I'll still keep this blog as well. It's comforting, to know that this can always be a place for me to blog about whatever the hell I want, no matter what. However, I don't think I'll post my writing up here - if I post it at all, it'll currently be on devART.

My New Year Resolutions are to read, write, and exercise every day! Although I didn't do that yesterday or today... but I'll get on that, you'll see!

Short post is short, I know, but I'm tired! Gotta go to school tomorrow... That dreaded place! I'm actually kind of glad to get back to the ol' bump and grind. Maybe now I can stop being so tired all the damn time...
Current Mood: tired
09 December 2010 @ 08:15 pm
kiri sometimes mispells "right?" as "write?"  
The freelancer came over to my house today, so we could snap a photo together for senior project. He was super nice and everyone loved him, even my mom, who doesn't love anyone. The picture was... eh, it was okay. I mean, I hate taking pictures of myself anyway, so I guess okay, for me, is a good thing. Before he left, I gave him this card that I got for him and a gift card to Dunkin Donuts, since he's always drinking coffee... No seriously, he's always drinking coffee! All the time. He really liked the gift, it was so awesome to see him so happy! The freelancer was easily the best mentor anyone could've ever asked for, and without him... Well, where would I be? I'm determined to ace this senior project shit now. I'm gonna make the most bamf backboard, my research paper (that I still haven't started) is gonna be the best you've ever seen, and my speech is going to blow the judges away. Hell, frickin' yes! I am so pumped and I don't even know why! ... WHOOOOT.

Speaking of photos... I really want to get into photography! I was on deviantART the other day and I came across this amazing photo that really made me go, "Wow, that's beautiful!" I know there's no scenary as beautiful as that in Rhode Island... but I'd really love to give it a go! Can you take ridiculously cool photos with a simple digital camera like mine? It's just some really crappy brand, it's a Cybershoot I think... It's nothing amazing, but I really want to get into it! Granted, real pros don't use digitals, I don't think... I was reading this one article on photography where the photographer used film, obviously, and he had metal cabinets all around his house full of photos, files upon files... Photos are really something amazing - it's a form of art that I think anyone can be good at if you're willing to put some work into it!  Besides, I'm going to be a journalist, aren't I? (But are you?) I can use that as an excuse to start practicing taking pictures... Hehe...

To suddenly and dramatically change topics, I had a weird dream Sunday night and it's been bothering me all week.

In which Kiri rambles on about an interesting dream she had... )

Despite how strange the dream was, I'll have to put off thinking about it for later. I have to ace senior project first, then life can finally move along.

08 December 2010 @ 09:07 pm
the best way to waste time is by ruining your childhood  
So we were having an interesting discussion in Latin class today - okay, maybe not discussion, but my Latin teach tossed some interesting ideas at us.

I'm not sure how it all started really - someone asked him, "Have your kids seen Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?" Haha, he talks a lot about his kids, so its not as weird to ask about them as it might seem... Anyway, he said, "I'm not letting my kids watch that movie." We were all kind of shocked, except for me, because I don't really give a damn about children, and everyone was like, well, why not?!

"Well, what happens in Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?" he asked. We were all kind of like, do you want us to summarize the whole movie for you? We all totally pulled a blank, me especially because to be honest I don't ever remember seeing that movie... (insert dramatic, shocked outbursts here) but according to my Dad, I totally did, but whatever. Anyway, he starts telling us how Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is not an innocent little Christmas story, but one with a TOTALLY DARK AGENDA and it's pretty interesting food for thought. Seriously!

So what does happen in this movie? Rudolph's born with a red nose and his parents are kind of shocked but they love him and raise him all the same. When it comes time for the Reindeer Games, they shove a piece of coal on Rudolph's nose so people don't make fun of him, and send him off to have a good time. It starts out fine at first - he makes friends with Firebolt and a little doe named Clarice is totally into him. When it comes time for the takeoff, Clarice calls Rudolph cute and he starts freakin' out. He's like, "I'm cute! I'm cute!" He goes to do the takeoff and totally aces it, and everyone's like, "Rudolph! YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DOG." And he starts freakin' out and being super happy, and then the coal falls off his nose! Everyone is totally freaked out, and everyone starts laughing and calling him names... I don't remember any of them, I remember someone calling him "rainbow puss" for some reason which could totally be an innuendo...

Anyway, THEN SANTA ARRIVES. We must remember that this is SANTA we're talking about. He's a paragon to little kids everyone, seen as a figure of good, righteousness, and lovableness. Santa is someone every kid loves and looks up to, right? Well, this so-called nice guys go up to Rudolph's dad and says, and I quote! "You should be ashamed! He had such a nice takeoff too..." ... Wait, what? Rudolph's dad should be ashamed for having a kid who's different? WHAT. Santa, how could you? He should be ashamed?!

Everyone at this point was like, "Well, that's irrelevant! Rudolph was accepted in the end, and everyone loved him, right?"

Well, why was he accepted? Because he was useful. He was useful to the big man Santa Claus, so now he's okay. It's totally acceptable to have him around now, because he had a service that proved useful to BIG MAN SANTA. Otherwise, would Santa have given a shit? Hell no! Go sleep with the abominable snowman, he doesn't need you. If Rudolph had been born with some other defect that couldn't help him, like blue feet or a green tail, do you think Santa would've cared? Nope. We sing and praise Rudolph because he's what all those who are different should be: useful. And if you're not useful, GTFO.

Everyone's childhoods: SHATTERED.

In other news, here's the status on my senior project...

I got a lot of shit to do on the weekend...

Current Mood: amused
07 December 2010 @ 11:31 pm
qwop, the greatest game ever played  
It's 11:25 PM and I'm about to go to bed, so there's no time to type out a real journal entry! Instead, have QWOP!

Yosh, QWOP! Basically, QWOP is a hilarious as hell flash game that everyone's been playing lately. The game goes like this: you're an Olympic runner, and all you have to do is run 100 meters, from start to finish. Easy, right? Wrong! You can only control the runner's thighs and calves, on both of his legs. The Q and W keys move his thighs, and O and P moves his legs. Thus, QWOP. The game is ridiculously impossible, but addicting and hilarious as all hell. You'll fall on your face and die so many times, your runner's legs will twist and bend in impossible angles... and every time I died, I laughed my ass off. You can play QWOP over here, but you've gotta watch this vid before you do, seriously...
In which Kiri lawls out loud to this guy's QWOP commentary, and promises you will too... )
05 December 2010 @ 09:08 pm
a roleplayer is born! kiri's getting wrapped up in this again?  
In which Kiri remembers the time she spent roleplaying on LJ... )

Anyway, I was thinking about the things I missed on LJ and I immediately remembered roleplaying. And then, what do you know? An active community on DW pops up! Say hello to [community profile] forestofdreamers ! It's a pan-fandom roleplay, so you can roleplay any character from any fandom at any time, whether they be AU characters, characters that you've given your own backgrounds to (like Grey Wardens and Shepards) or just totally original characters in general! The head mod is super nice and seems to have a lot of dedication to the project, so I doubt it's going to go anywhere anytime soon! I'm so excited, because DW is more of a home to me than LJ ever was, and to finally have a place to roleplay... It's the best!

I already made a character journal! Meet [personal profile] rokusasu , aka Roxas, of course! It was a big decision - choosing who I'd play first, Riku or Roxas, but in the end I choose Roxas, mainly 'cause I found icons for him quicker... Sorry Riku! I do plan to bring Riku eventually, along with Zack Fair, Larxene, Kadaj, and Denzel, the usual crew! Also, because they don't mind if you alter the canon, I've altered Roxas so that he functions a little more like the Roxas on my old forum - restless, searching for something (his friend, Axel) and I've had him search for his heart too. His bio is over on his profile, so go check it out, damnit! Oh, he also doesn't know who Xion is (mainly because I don't know who Xion is) and his memory of her is completely wiped out. On the off chance that I run into a Xion, he will completely pull a blank.

I also should point out that you don't need to make a profile to play there... I just did 'cause I'm so old-school like whoa.

I'm probably going to add on histories to the other characters so they remind me of how they were on the old forum, too. Larxene isn't going to be so explosive and immature, but scheming and a little calmer, traits she picked up from Zexion after working with him for so long. Zack Fair was never dead, pfffft, but he was revived by Lazard after spending eight months in a basement deep in Midgar. Kadaj... man, his whole history is so different from the canon history in Advent Children... Not sure what I'm doing with him yet, but he's on a mission to eliminate Sephiroth and revive Jenova, no surprise. Denzel was never raised by Cloud, hah, but by Cid! He swears and he bombs everyone to hell with explosives.
Who's stoked? Kiri's stoked!

Who didn't use the weekend to work on her research paper?! .... Kiri!
Oh my god, I'm so frickin' screwed. I'll just work on it during the week, no worries, no worries.

Remember, remember, the deadly 15th of December!
Current Mood: anxious