catastrophic: (♕ run these streets and play for keeps)
Kiri ([personal profile] catastrophic) wrote on February 25th, 2011 at 01:01 pm

Had the biggest writer's block today - now I finally know what it means, to actually just have... this thing that happens and you just can't write anything. I really think it happened because I've been intentionally avoiding the few writerly friends I have, just literally going out of my way to make sure that I didn't have to talk to them, just 'cause I didn't feel like it. Today I broke down and IM'd them all, and kind of avoided answering why I had been away for so long.

Seriously, I don't get why I'm so antisocial? It's like there's a wall between me and everyone else, except [personal profile] razzberree , who is more like family to me - I can't recall a time when there ever was a wall between us, if there ever was. I want to make more strong relationships with people, but I'm so shy about it, it takes forever for me to type because I'm constantly analyzing everything I say, hoping I don't come out sounding like a total dweeb. But I've been working hard on Pridea, and I can't work on it all the time - it helps to talk to other people who are also writing, or roleplaying, so I know I'm not alone? Or maybe it just helps to stop being in my shell all the time, because I'm human, and as a human, I need other humans? I don't know.

SPEAKING OF ROLEPLAYING, I've been working diligently on outlining Pridea (yay for working out over 9000 plot kinks...) but like I said, I get these huge blocks where my mind just refuses to work on it, so I'm thinking I need to work on something else. I'm thinking I should just break down and join a frickin' roleplay but my mind is like, "NOOOO, don't do it, Kiri, you'll regret it!" But I really, really need to, or at least, I think I need to.

I get a headache when I talk to too many people. I just can't find the right balance.

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